Comment je me suis disputé... (ma vie sexuelle) (1996)
Directed by Arnaud Desplechin

Film Review

Comment je me suis disputé... (ma vie sexuelle) offers a pretty morbid take on the theme of the mid-life crisis but, with some superbly nuanced writing and a high-calibre cast, it makes a compelling, albeit somewhat depressing, exploration of the male menopause in its early stages.  It was with this film that Arnaud Desplechin demonstrated his flair both as a writer and director and immediately established himself as one of French cinema's leading auteurs in the mid-1990s. It remains one of his most perceptive and authentic films to date.

Film Synopsis

Paul Dédalus is fast approaching thirty when he realises the mess he has made of his life.  Saddled with an assistant teaching job at Nanterre university that he has come to loathe, he struggles to complete his thesis whilst agonising over whether he should end his relationship with Esther, the woman he has been living with for ten years.  Paul has ample opportunity to offload his worries on to his psychiatrist and coterie of loyal friends, but he still remains stuck in a soul-crushing impasse, traumsatised by childhood memories and unsure what he is to do next.

Paul has a brief affair with Sylvia, the partner of his best friend Nathan, but this seems to resolve nothing and leaves him even more aware of his inadequacies.  The unexpected appointment of a former friend and academic rival of his, Frédéric Rabier, to a post in his department merely worsens his mood.  Paul's own professional and emotional woes are exacerbated further by the problems of those who are nearest to him, notably his cousin Bob, who shares his abode and is similarly coping with a failing relationship that has long outstayed its welcome.  Meanwhile, as he mulls over how to rid himself of his present partner, Paul finds he is being fanatically pursued by another woman, Valérie.  She appears determined to make a conquest of him, even though her present lover is a close friend of Paul's...